A Sirius Mistake
by JKLB
Summary: After Sirius Black tells Severus Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow tunnel, can Remus Lupin forgive him? MWPP
1. Remus

_Whenever I think of the infamous "prank" (Sirius told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow tunnel) I always wonder about Remus and Sirius in the days immediately after.  So…_

A Sirius Mistake

**Chapter 1- Remus**

            The pain of transforming back from a wolf into a human left Remus Lupin gasping for air as he crouched on the floor of the Shrieking Shack.  He closed his eyes, waiting for the ache to subside and allowing his mind to clear.  The wolfish part of his mind merely acknowledged the pain, but the human part thought, "_This hurts more than usual."  He opened his eyes to see that his arms were covered with bite marks, gashes, and blood.  He didn't need to look any further to know that his legs would show the same; the pain there was just as bad._

            He fought down the impulse to lick his wounds and reminded himself that Madam Pomfrey would be waiting for him.  "_Just get through the tunnel, Remus, and she'll take care of you," he told himself sternly.  The thought of Madam Pomfrey made him smile grimly.  "__Man, is she going to fuss when she sees what a mess I am.  She hasn't seen me this bad in over a year."_

            He wouldn't be able to explain to her why he had reverted to his self-destructive behavior after refraining from it for so many full moons—fortunately, Madam Pomfrey never asked many questions—but Remus knew.  He couldn't remember his friends joining him last night; in fact, he couldn't remember any of last night clearly.  This fact alone told him that he had been alone last night.  When Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail were with him, there was more of Remus in Moony's mind, and thus Remus found it easier to recall his nights as a wolf.

            Remus stood up carefully and reached for his cloak; he had put it on a high shelf before transforming last night.  After all, he didn't want to tear it to bits or chew holes in it.  As he wrapped himself in the warm cloak, "_I miss my fur," he wondered why his friends hadn't come.  He wasn't overly concerned.  Even with James's invisibility cloak, it could be difficult to sneak out of the castle.  "__If they did get caught sneaking out, it won't be the first detention for any of them."_

            It was, however, the first full moon at school since his friends became animagi that they hadn't been together.  Remus attributed his gloomy mood to this fact.  Last night wasn't the first time that he had torn himself apart in his frustration at imprisonment and lack of human prey.  Somehow, having experienced the glorious alternative, running free with his unusual "pack," made last night all the worse.

            He pulled his wand from the pocket of his cloak, "Lumos," and began the long walk through the dark, damp tunnel.  Remus wondered again why his friends hadn't come.  He closed his eyes and took a deep sniff of the tunnel's familiar scent.  Partly, this was due to the wolf instincts so close to the surface this morning, and partly, it was due to his human experience.  He had learned many years before that scents, so important to his wolf self, could provide a bridge to his wolf memories.  Moist earth, mildew, dog pee—and blood.  His eyes snapped open.  He had never smelled blood in the tunnel before.  The Shrieking Shack was filled with the scent of his own blood, but not the tunnel.

            He hurried deeper into the tunnel, away from the shack, and sniffed again.  The scent of blood was a bit stronger.  Panic began to set in.  "_Calm down, Remus.  Maybe you killed a rabbit or something."  He wished desperately for the wolf's nose instead of the human one.  The human nose could recognize the slightly metallic scent of blood; the wolf nose could have told him what he needed to know: rabbit, wolf—or human._

            Even as he scanned the ground, looking for signs of some struggle, Remus tried to recapture his memories of last night.  What had he done?  What had he felt?  _Rage.  Hunger.  Desire to kill.  Remus panicked for a moment as the violent urges and desires of the werewolf surged to the surface of his mind.  For so many years he had struggled to keep these feelings submerged, and prided himself that the struggle was only lost when the full moon rose.  But now, he needed to know.  Burying the wolf inside himself would also bury its memories.  He allowed the strong feelings to surface.  __Rage.  Hunger.  Desire to kill, to tear, to bite.  Frustration.  The last was a beacon of hope to Remus._

            He was sure now.  A human had been in the tunnel last night.  He had wanted to kill him.  He had tried to kill him.  He had failed.  A well-timed growl from his stomach almost made him smile.  He definitely hadn't eaten anyone.  The human had escaped, but had he been mauled? had he been bitten?

            The scent of blood lingered, but Remus still didn't know if it was the blood of the human he attacked or his own.  He knew his werewolf side well enough to know that he had probably turned on himself when he had failed to kill the human.

            The faint light of the tunnel entrance was in sight now.  Madam Pomfrey was waiting.  She would tell him what happened.  Briefly, the image of Madam Pomfrey tucking him into a hospital bed beside the bed of his victim floated into his mind.  "_Yeah right.  You'll be lucky if they even let her patch you up before they take you away."_

            Somehow, the idea of the Werewolf Capture Unit of the Ministry of Magic throwing him into a cage and taking him away from Hogwarts wasn't as frightening as he expected.  The image was a familiar one—a recurring nightmare—it had jolted him awake in a cold sweat many, many times.  Now that fear didn't seem as important as the news that Madam Pomfrey would deliver.  Had he cursed another person to a misery like his own?

            Remus gathered his courage and called out, "Madam Pomfrey?  I'm here."  He saw the branches of the Whomping Willow freeze in mid-swing and climbed out of the tunnel's mouth at the tree's roots.  He crawled to a safe distance, stood, and saw not Madam Pomfrey, but Professor Dumbledore.  A heavy stone dropped into Remus's stomach, and he couldn't remember how to breathe.

            "Professor…" Remus gasped.  "How badly did I hurt him?"  Remus knew that there was only one reason that the Headmaster would be there instead of Madam Pomfrey; she was too busy caring for Remus's victim.  Professor Dumbledore looked slightly puzzled.

            "You didn't hurt either one, Remus."

            Remus's mind was whirling.  "_Either one."  There were two humans in the tunnel last night.  He could have killed or bitten two people.  He hadn't hurt either one.  He remembered how to breathe._

            "You don't remember?" asked Dumbledore with a note of concern in his voice.

            "Not enough," replied Remus.  The stone in his stomach grew lighter.  "Who was in the tunnel?"

            "Mr. Potter and Mr. Snape.  It's a bit of a story I'm afraid, " said Dumbledore as he turned toward the school, "so why don't I fill you in as we walk to the hospital wing.  That's why I came down myself this morning.  I knew you'd want to know."

            By the time they reached the door of Madam Pomfrey's domain, Professor Dumbledore had told Remus all that he knew: Sirius had told Snape how to freeze the Whomping Willow and about the tunnel entrance at its roots, Snape had gone into the tunnel, James, learning of Sirius's actions, had also gone into the tunnel in order to save Snape, and Snape had been sworn to secrecy regarding Remus.

            Remus found it hard to speak.  He found it hard to think.  By the time he realized that he should thank the Headmaster for telling him what had happened, Dumbledore was already gone.  He decided to put on his nightshirt and realized that he had already done so.  Madam Pomfrey came inside the curtains around his bed, carrying a potion for his injuries.  There was one thought that was clear in his mind.

            "Madam Pomfrey?"

            "Yes, Remus?"

            "If Sirius comes by to see me later, please don't let him in.  I'm not ready to talk to him."

            "All right, dear.  Now let me see the bites on your legs."

_Don't stop now—read Chapter 2!_

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_Disclaimer:  All characters, places, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling the Great.  Thank you for creating them!_


	2. Sirius

**A Sirius Mistake**

Chapter 2- Sirius 

            Sirius Black lay awake on his four-poster.  He had pulled back the bed hangings closest to the window an hour ago and watched now as the sky shifted from purple to pink.  "_Madam Pomfrey is probably patching Remus up right now_."  Part of Sirius wanted to run to the hospital wing right away.  However, the experience of many mornings after the full moon had taught Sirius that Madam Pomfrey would allow no one to see Remus until he had several hours of rest.  He wouldn't be allowed in until mid-afternoon at the earliest, and after supper was more likely.  Sirius felt some relief at that thought.  He still didn't know what he would say—what could he say?

            "Wake up!   You missed breakfast.  Transfiguration's in ten minutes.  McGonagall will kill us if we're late again."

            Sirius blinked in confusion as James's words sunk in.

            "Typical," Sirius growled to himself.  "Awake all night and fell asleep at dawn."  He changed as quickly as he could, ran his fingers through his wavy hair, grabbed his book bag, and ran down the stairs.  James and Peter were waiting for him in the common room, but none of them said a word as they hurried to class.

            The morning sped by.  In Transfiguration, Sirius was too busy to think.  In History of Magic, he was too bored to think.  At lunchtime, he chose to sit with his back to the other houses' tables.  He didn't want to see Snape glaring at him, but he could feel it all the same.  The silence between Sirius and his friends became overwhelming.

            "Double potions with the Slytherins this afternoon," said Sirius finally.

            "Yes," said James.

            "Well, I guess sooner is better than later."

            "Are you going to apologize to Snape?" James asked.

            The question was still unanswered when Sirius picked up his book bag and followed James and Peter to the dungeons.  When the Gryffindors reached the Potions classroom, the Slytherins were already inside.  Sirius saw that Snape was sitting near the back, surrounded by his friends. Even if Sirius wanted to apologize, he couldn't do it with others around.  To do so would risk revealing Remus's secret.

            When he began to prepare his potions ingredients, Sirius returned to the question that had nagged him since lunch.

            "_Do I want to apologize to Snape?"_  It was a complicated question.  Of course he had been wrong, but... "_It's Snape's fault too,"_ Sirius thought angrily as he ground beetles into dust.  "_If he hadn't been spying on Remus, I never would have said anything.  Besides, I didn't force him to go down there_." Sirius felt Snape glaring at him again.  He turned around and glared back.

            At the end of class, Sirius and James lingered as their classmates left.  Sirius watched tensely to see if Snape would leave with the other Slytherins, or if he would stay behind and give Sirius a chance to speak.  Snape stayed.  "_Time to apologize to the slimy bastard_," Sirius thought as he walked toward Snape.  Snape looked from Sirius to James, hatred for both in his eyes, and swept out of the room.

            "That went well," said James as he put a hand on Sirius's shoulder.  "Should we go see Remus now?"

            Sirius nodded.  "You'll come with me then?"

            "I shouldn't, but I will."

            "Madam Pomfrey, is Remus awake?"

            "Yes, but...I'm afraid you can't come in Sirius.  Remus said that he isn't ready to see you.  James, you may come in if you wish."

            Sirius felt as if he had just been punched in the stomach.  He looked down at the floor, unwilling to let the pain and confusion in his eyes show.

            "Well, I...I guess I'll wait for you in the common room, James."  He left quickly, not waiting for a reply.

            Remus stayed in the hospital wing through the weekend.  Sirius didn't try to visit him a second time.  He felt it best to wait until Remus indicated that he was ready to see him.  Sirius wanted desperately to speak to Remus, but he also dreaded their next meeting.  For now, Remus was his friend, a friend whom he had hurt badly.  Sirius feared that when they met again, he would learn that their friendship was broken beyond repair.

            On Sunday evening, James was destroying Sirius at chess.  Sirius had hoped that the game would distract him from his fears.  It didn't.

            "Checkmate," said James.  "It's not much fun winning this easily, you know."

            "Now you know how _I _usually feel when we play," replied Sirius with a slight smile.

            "Funny.  Why don't we..."

            When James broke off abruptly, Sirius looked up from his angry chessmen and followed James's gaze.  Remus was back.

            "Welcome back, Remus," called Peter from the table where he was doing his homework.  "Your timing is perfect.  I was just trying to do this Defense Against the Dark Arts assignment and  ..."

            "Ask James, Peter."  Remus spoke to Peter without taking his eyes off Sirius.  The intensity of his gaze made Sirius flinch inside.  Remus then crossed the room and disappeared up the boys' staircase.

            "He's going to kill me, isn't he?"  Sirius stared at the staircase knowing that he had to go up.

            "No, he said that he wouldn't leave the hospital wing until he was sure that he wouldn't kill you."

            Sirius felt a prickle of fear as he realized that James was being quite serious.  He laughed nervously as he rose and walked to the staircase.  As he climbed the circular stair, jokes came unbidden into his mind.  "_Hey, Moony.  Sorry I almost gave you indigestion with Snape.  Next time I'll send you a nice tasty Ravenclaw_."

            He entered their circular dormitory and closed the door behind him.  Remus stood near the foot of his bed, one hand holding on to a post.  To some, it may have appeared that Remus was perfectly calm.  Sirius, however, noticed that Remus's knuckles were white.  He seemed to be trying to anchor himself to one spot, away from Sirius.

            "I'm so sorry, Moony," said Sirius, knowing that his words were inadequate to express his feelings at that moment.  "I was angry at Severus and I didn't think."

            Remus lost his inner battle to stay away from Sirius and crossed the room with surprising speed.  He pinned Sirius to the wall with a strength which was belied by his thin build.

            "No, you didn't think."  Remus's voice was steady but hard.  "I could have _killed_ Severus.  I could have _killed_ James."  Remus released Sirius as suddenly as he had pinned him.  He went to a window and looked out, his body tense.  "Do you have any idea how terrified I was the next morning?  I could only remember that a person had been in the tunnel.  I thought that I might have killed or bitten someone."

            Sirius nodded dumbly at Remus's back, and then he found his voice.

            "Yeah, I do know.  I felt the same way when I realized what an incredibly stupid thing I'd done.  I was afraid for Severus, and I was afraid for you. By the time I got outside, James had just gotten Snape out of the tunnel.  I don't know what I was thinking.  I guess I just thought he'd get a good scare.  I'm an idiot, Remus.  I'm glad James is smarter than me."

            Sirius saw Remus's shoulders relax.  He knew that Remus was no longer furious with him, but he did not know if Remus was still his friend.  It pained him that his own actions had driven this wedge between them.  He asked, "Will we be OK, Moony?  I mean, eventually?"

            Remus nodded and turned to look at his worried friend.  "Give me a couple of weeks."

            "_Week of the new moon_," Sirius thought automatically.  Then he said aloud, "Well as long as you forgive me before three and a half weeks are up.  You'll tear my throat out otherwise."

            "No," Remus replied with a ghost of a smile on his face.  "If I kill you, Padfoot, who will protect Prongs?  After all, James is the one who kept me from my kill."

            Just then, the opened and James came in glancing worriedly from one friend to the other.

            "Yum," said Sirius smiling, "venison."  He began to laugh, saw Remus smile, and laughed all the more.

_Reviews and constructive criticism are, or course, appreciated.  Hope you enjoyed it!_

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_Disclaimer:  All characters, places, etc. belong to J.K. Rowling the Great.  Thank you for creating them!_


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